Showing posts with label how to be happy. Show all posts

Other's Experience Can Be Your Best Teacher



Dear pal,
do you remember a little note written on each page of your elementary school’s notebook? “Experience is the best teacher”, it says. You may be well-acquainted to the saying, but does it soak into your head and affect your daily attitude?

Oh, chill, I’m not gonna lecture you. Just sit back, and relax because I’m about to tell you a story.

I have a friend. He is, uh, was such a nice, not to mention, good-looking guy who enchanted everyone around him with his pure innocence. I assumed he was pious as he was raised in a religious family. It was good old days when we hung out, talking about stuff. He told me how his parents were strict of religious rules. Good parents, I thought, but apparently my friend didn’t think so. One day, after a long summer break, he started to show some changes. I rarely saw him on campus, let alone at the mosque. Just that, and distance grew between us. We have less frequent encounter, but I can always find him on social media. To my surprise, he has been posting photos of his daily life, which is, let’s say, hedonistic. Name all that worldly pleasures that come across your mind. Debauchery is close enough. He does that kind of thing now, and he keeps posting about it, proudly.

That’s not it. There’s more.

His parents who are, you know, devout religious, found out about their son. I managed to know that his parents never stop giving him advice, smoothly and in the gentlest way possible, to behave as their religion taught. But you know what the son’s reaction to his parents’ perennial good intention? He posted a long status on his social media, spilling his resentment on them. He wrote about how annoying it was to have such parents, who—he said—dictated him which God to believe in. He questioned why they didn’t give him freedom on choosing his own belief, while it was his—he inserted the f-word here—life. He even threw a remark that even God failed to make him believe in His existence. He closed his short essay by saying that he had to lie and pretend to be a good son for them, in order to be loved and funded. He even admitted that all that he cared was their money.

That status dropped explosive on me. Where has my dear friend gone? The innocent Prince Charming is not so innocent anymore, in fact—as people put—grows stupid. Uh, does the story sound familiar?

I assure you, I’m not talking about Dorian Gray. Forget that Oscar Wilde’s Gothic protagonist, what I told you is a true story. Let’s hope he won’t go as far as Dorian did.

It broke my heart, seriously. He takes his parents for granted, and even looks down on God! That’s loads of arrogance he showed, whereas just a tiny bit of it can destroy whole good deeds. What a shame.

It breaks my heart to see him become an agnostic. It saddens me that he too thinks religious belief is not relevant in today’s modern and advanced world. He thinks holding on conservative religious teaching will get him nowhere, and will only hinder his path in the world full of competitions. I wonder if Kemal Atatürk is his role model :(

Frankly, people are talking about him, judging him based on the established moral value here. You and I, my pal, can do better. Let's learn from him instead of judging him.

Now, I invite you to reflect on this. “Experience is the best teacher”. It doesn’t have to be your own experience, we can also learn from others. That’s even better because we don’t have to actually go through the bitter part. Well, if you are not into religious belief either, make sure we’re still on the same page about morality here. Only then can you take a valuable lesson from the story of my friend.

My wish for you, my dear pal, is that you'll never fall into the same hole my other friend did.
Have a nice day :)

In Search of Love


No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,

sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño.

 Pablo Neruda, Soneto XVII, Cien Sonetos de Amor


Love, something everyone seeks. A mere common word which is considered powerful. Just a word, which moved Neruda to write his critically acclaimed love poems, eventually led him to be known as one of the greatest poets of the 20th century. Indeed, love is something beautiful as well as powerful, meaningful as well as harmful. In short, it’s a double-edged sword. Only people who know how to wield it can truly find happiness. Otherwise, love will only be a downfall. How to wield it, then?

You know, this subject is tricky. You just can’t help the feeling, head over heels for someone, ready to die for them, only to waking up heartbroken. You can finally stand again, finding someone new, only to be back to square one. You love again. You’re hurt again. You feel like running in a never-ending circle just to find your better half. Then, you start to not believe in love. Oh, despair not. Try to trace back what you did wrong. Clueless? You think you did nothing wrong?

Perhaps, you loved them too much.

What’s with it, you say? Well, first, common sense, fella: everything too much is never good. Let me share to you something precious a friend told me this morning, “If you love someone or something more than you love Allah and His prophets, it’ll never work out.” I’ve heard this many times, but this time it hit me hard. I started to look back, and realised how I’ve been living fancying vain things instead of praying. I might perform my prayers full time, but my time for looking up the vain things I like was more than the time I used to communicate with God.

Is it the case with you too? If yes, we found your problem. The solution is easy, but of course, easier said than done. If you want someone to be your future, get closer to Allah, not to them. If the person you want falls to someone else’s embrace, then surely Allah has a better one, in fact the best, in store for you. The key is to love someone because of Allah. Just let Allah guide you to the right path, believe in Him. If you make Allah your beloved King, for whom you do everything, then you could be united with that someone, even if they are in the other hemisphere of the globe.

I’m no one to tell you this, but heed what I shared to you. Let’s do this the right way, hand in hand, reminding each other to be better. Insha’Allah we’ll build our happy little palace here and in the afterlife :)





Awakening


H A P P I N E S S

A simple, common word. It’s nothing fancy, nothing grand, nothing posh. You hear it from people of all kind. Everyone can say the word. Everyone can use the word. College degree is not required to get acquaintance with this word. Sounds trivial. Sounds flat. But this word is high on demand. Everyone is craving for it. Everyone seeks it, driven nuts in order to find it. But, it’s just a word. What about it?

You too, I know, is heading to happiness, at least you think you are. But, are you? Do you even know where you’re heading? Happiness is intangible. Happiness is abstract. Happiness is a conception. Ah, perhaps you know! Happiness is... uh, right. What is it again? You know it, but you can’t really put it into words. It’s there, but not quite. How clear your destination is! Happiness. Thus, how will you reach it? Sorry, buddy, google maps ain’t got you nowhere this time.

What is happiness, really? Uh, wait, is it real? Ah, don’t know what to think!

Hey, don’t despair, my friend, let’s contemplate!

You may feel lost now. No worries, you’re not alone. Multitudes out there are still looking for happiness. They may look fine, but who knows inside there’s just a void raging to be filled. Many have wandered through continents, crossed oceans, climbed mountains, yet happiness is still nowhere to be found. Let me tell you a little secret, no matter how far you go, if you don’t know where to look, you will fail. Some may have been ascetics to find happiness, but again, let me tell you. If you don’t know the key, no matter how long you meditate, you won’t succeed!

Now, if you want to know what the key is, take your phone. Open Snapchat. Use the front camera. Apply any filter you like. See anyone there? Or you can just stand in front of a mirror. Or a spoon, whatever, to see your own reflection.

Yep, it’s in you! You hold the key all along, my friend. This key is special, it needs wielding. Just as how Excalibur is only forged to be wielded by Arthur, this key can only be used by you!

Now, let’s find your key.

Still cannot find it?

Well, then maybe you’ve been looking in the wrong direction!

You might always be thinking that happiness is when you get what you want. That sounds to be the true concept of it. But, really? If you can never have what you want, then you can never be happy? Oh, how sad. Luckily, it’s not that. That is what I meant to be the wrong direction.

Happiness is not about getting what you want. Not at all. Truth is, my friend, it’s about loving what you have and realizing how blessed you are to have it. I’ll let this soaked in to your brain. Let’s do a little reasoning. When you have all that you want, but you’re not grateful for it, there’ll always be something lacking. This won’t take you to happiness, but to greed instead. However, if you’re grateful and feel blessed to have it, happiness is yours! If you know how to be grateful, even when you have nothing, you will still hold that happiness.

Slapped? Nice to know you’re awaken.

Be Careful with Your Wishes


One day, an ordinary freshman wished to be the best graduate at her school. Three years later, she got the reward, and even beyond her imagination.

In different year, different place, a passionate young girl wrote a goal just to accomplish a boring writing tutorial assignment. Having no idea for what to write, she casually wrote, “This semester goal: be an active student journalist.” The week after, she was assigned to cover some events for a media, incessantly in a month.

One morning in a new academic year, an enthusiastic girl determined to be rarely back to her hometown. This fellow went to college that was only an hour by motorbike from her hometown, so even though she stayed in a boarding house, she always went home every weekend. She thought this habit did not help her independence, so she stated her determination. As a result, the whole semester she had to go home every fortnight, because there was always something that kept her from her weekly going home.

Those are not fictions. I witnessed those occurrences, and even knew those people personally. What can we infer from those cases?
I know Allah hears everyone’s prayers, and He will not ignore them at all. I am always aware of this, and I have experienced such blessing countless times. Every word comes out from our mouth, and even every unsaid words are wishes. It means not only the good wishes but also bad wishes that may come true. Therefore, be careful with what you wish!

Calamities as a result of our own wish do not only happen to Merida. Other stories, movies, and even real occurrences have taught us to be careful in wishing, because such case might happen to us! You may wish to live the life of Riley, or fairy tale, and they may come true one way or another. Never wish for something bad, that usually pops up when we are not in clear mind. Similarly, avoid wishing for something that is not right for us, or that we do not enjoy to do.

Just pin this in mind that words are prayers. Do not overlook the power of your words, pals! You know words can hurt someone more than a knife does, but do you know it can hurt your future? Wish wisely! :)

Freefalling Expectations


Wherever we go, I hope we never leave gratitude behind. Let it accompany us along every step we take. If we spare a little time to think and look back on what we have been through, we will realise a great deal of blessings poured to us. Set aside the thought about how miserable our life is, and think of good things we have. That way, we will feel a little more grateful.

Wait, you still cannot feel grateful? Let’s take another trick. For this one, I have a recent experience. First, let me tell you I am far from pious, I am not yet meet the image of how a Muslim girl should be. I am trying to be, though. On my way there, right now, I am still learning to be grateful. Here is my story.

Ever since I was accepted in the university, I had been wishing to be a part of a language and culture learning service. The idea to be a tutor for foreigners who want to learn our language was intriguing. When the office finally held a selection for tutors, I enrolled right away. I passed the first test, I was grateful. Next phase, I passed it too, another gratitude. I had a high expectation that I would be accepted. As for the last test, I did not hear any news at the supposedly announcement day. Then, I thought maybe I was not accepted. I was a bit disappointed, and my high expectation suddenly dropped. I tried to let go, and kept thinking positive that Allah might have a better way for me. Until a couple of days later, a friend of mine told me my name was on the list of the new tutors! The rush of bliss was unexpectedly high in me. I expressed my gratitude as much as I could, for I did not expect it to happen to me. My gratitude might not be that much if I had known from the start about my acceptance.

Months had passed, and I have been doing my responsibility in tutoring. However, I could not meet the total time allotment due to my activities and my student’s. At the end of a program, I would be given reward for some rupiah, hourly basis. I learnt that my senior earned much amount of money, when the others only received one-third or so of her wage. I was amazed, she said that she was diligent and even hold tutorials every day. No wonder she got that much. Then, I was wondering, how much would I get? I did not apply for the money, but, still, who was not happy to be given money? (:p) I was feeling inferior to this senior. She was so industrious and she got that amount. Compared to her story, I felt like I did not do that much. I did a simple math out of it, and came at a conclusion that I would probably earn a quarter of her amount. Again, my expectation was failed to fly high. I was like, okay, alhamdulillah, I got a reward and I made money on myself, how delightful.

I had not taken my wage until some days ago, when I finally had time. Do you know how I felt when reading a nominal on the envelope? I was so surprised of the amount I got. It was thrice as much as what I expected! An instant gratitude, a great deal of it, hit me in joy. I did not expect to get that much, so my gratefulness was many times greater. If I had not lower my expectation, I might not be grateful that much.

Can you see the pattern from those two occurrences? I did not expect too much of something. Through some disappointments, Allah had reminded me not to expect things too high. Fortunately, I did lower my expectations, so I felt like I had got a great deal of luck. The feeling was indescribably amazing, you should experience it on your own to know. I guess that was an easy way to get you more grateful of something. Remember, guys, if we are thankful, Allah will grant us more. I hope my simple words could help you better yourself.

Simply be grateful for everything, then the life of Riley is only some steps ahead! No te rindas! :)

To Whom It May Concern


Life is indeed like a rollercoaster, you will face your own vicissitude. You cannot expect a constant comfort, but you can always find comfort. You cannot expect a constant happiness, but you can always find your happiness. See what I mean?

My dear friend, what I mean is that God’s tests are inevitable. They can be in any form, even what you find as happiness might be one of them. Being sad, apprehensive, and any other emotions are also unavoidable as human beings for we are meant to feel. Don’t worry, you are normal to feel unhappy. We cannot be happy all the time, anyway. However, there is always a way to find happiness even in your worst. You just need to know where to look.

Pal, if you are out there, feeling unhappy, lonely, and do not know what to do, please don’t despair! No matter how nasty your life is right now, you can still grasp your happiness. Look around!  Trust me, I know. I have been there too. Let me tell you my story.

Years ago, I was in my darkest time. My happy life was suddenly shaken. I felt my world was crumbling, my heart was aching, and my mind did not stop whirling. It was difficult to accept such an ordeal. How would you feel when your source happiness was taken away for good so suddenly? Exactly. At that time, I did not know how my life would go on. I stretched out my hands and failed to grasp something to hold on. As if, I were falling down, alone in a vacant space. However, fortunately, I still had my senses with me before I completely lost. I realised that I still had Allah, my true source of happiness. I thought, “Why don’t I hold on to Allah? Allah is my Creator, the King of all universe, the Master of life and death. He is the Author to my destiny. Why not asking Him my happy life?”

Then, my friend, I prayed, I talked to Him, spilled everything to Him. Believe me, little by little I felt relieved and I could let go of my ordeal. I faced the reality. The reality remained unchanged, an unhappy occurrence for me, but I then saw it differently. Allah has been guiding me, all the time, if only I remember Him. I always do this to face everything, and it works. Now, it was difficult to mention what my problem is or when I feel sad, because I don’t see things as giant pains anymore, I can find my happiness out of anything.

My beloved friend, wherever you are, the key to your happiness is Allah. Communicate to Him, be close and stay close to Him. Never walk away from Him. Certainly, Allah will grant you happiness. You, of all people, should know this better. I remember Dumbledore’s quote, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.” In this case, the quote is applicable, pal. To turn on the light, in our case, of course means to find Allah.

I hope what I said could get through your heart, and open up your eyes to act right away. It is neither a psychologist nor a psychic who can make you feel happy. It is you! All along, the key is in your hands! You would have been happy if you used the key to find Allah sooner. Well, I truly hope you could make it. Let me know when you do. Live happily!

Cordially yours,

-Servent de Déu-

Blessing in Disguise



That idiom is one of my favourites. Although I have experienced many blessing in disguise things, I’m always astonished to realize the blessings. That if I found out the disguised blessing, which I always try to. Speaking about blessing in disguise, I have a phenomenon in thought. Are you wondering what it is?

Mocking and making fun of friends are common things around me. Of course, those are done for fun, we don’t really mean to insult. Self-praising is also usual, but once again, it’s just for jokes. Doing those things somehow make us closer as friends.

However, sometimes people can feel insulted by the jokes addressed to them. Who knows they smile outside, but hurt inside? This can be either they are too sensitive, or their friends have gone too far. Both are not virtuous. For those who likes making fun of friends (just for kidding), I beg please mind your words. Think first whether it’ll be okay for the people you are addressing. For you who are too touchy about your friends’ jokes, I have a special advice.

To begin with, my friends often criticize me of being crazy about pink. They show their disapproval in hilarious way that shows they don’t hate me. I’m always “bullied” in class, because of my predilection to pink, and girly stuff. Please note that quotation in bullied. By bully I mean is not serious bullying cases, it’s just how I express my friends’ way of joking. Sorry, I cannot find another proper word to describe it. We are used to calling that kind of kidding bullying (we use this term as parody, don’t take it serious. Of course, I’m not suffering from bullying). Sometimes I’m annoyed too with my friends’ jokes, because I have my right to like or have or wear whatever I want to. But, hey, I know that they are just having fun with me! The point is, with everyone mocks you, you get your conceit pressed down. 

Now, let’s contemplate. My friends and I like claiming ourselves to be great people. For instance, I like declaring that I am a princess; I am Princess Aurora, and so on. If my friends just admitted it, I would be surer and surer that I am beautiful, graceful, and honourable just like a princess. Eventually, it would grow my vanity. I would be bigheaded, and vain. How fortunate I am that my friends never agree with my claiming!

See? I am fully aware that my friends have helped me to keep my vanity in check. That is the blessing in disguise I meant. My friends might not realize that they’ve saved me from arrogance. I secretly thank them very much for doing so. You know, just a little arrogance can destroy all the virtues you’ve done. Can you imagine how dangerous arrogance is?

Therefore, for you who are often hurt by your friends’ jokes to you, please bear my words in mind. Their insults are actually blessings in disguise! Try to see the blessings before you jump into conclusions. You may be astonished and grateful by then.